WARNING: A lot of people will not like this post, and may be offended – not my intention. I’m simply expressing my opinion, as everyone is entitled to do. And apologies for the swearing (but complain and I’ll direct you to an article that claims those who swear are more intelligent haha). Namaste.
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So my sister just made a video (check her out on YouTube ‘Blondeteaparty’) about the ‘self-help epidemic’, and I’d like to add to that. Not a day goes by without someone popping up on our social media, claiming they have the keys to success/cure for loneliness/secret to happiness…the list goes on. There are so many self-professed ‘gurus’ out there that it’s almost like a contagious disease.
Let me tell you something – it’s all bullshit. Now, you might say ‘Yeah but you write blogs giving out advice, aren’t you doing the same thing?’. Nope. I’m not selling you some ’10 Steps to Happiness’ rubbish, I’m just sharing my personal experiences and what I’ve found has helped me through certain situations. I’m not claiming to be wise, to be a ‘guru’ or to have some profound knowledge that you don’t that will unlock the doors to eternal happiness. That is where I differ.
I see 20 something year-olds acting as if they’re Buddha reincarnated; not just that, a Buddha who’s been through the fires of hell and has now seen paradise and wants to guide you there. They’ll say they trained in the school of Yadda Yadda SoulSearch 300X or some shit, and now have the qualifications to guide you through your life. IT IS RUBBISH. How do you train to be a ‘life’ coach? Life, by it’s very nature, is an unpredictable, fluid entity, that is entirely unique and separate for each and every one of us. You cannot go to school and train to be a ‘guide’ – you don’t even know your own path in life, let alone someone else’s. Experience is our best teacher, and I’m sorry but no matter what you have gone through, when you are in your 20s there is no way you could ever be ‘qualified’ enough to ‘guide’ or ‘teach’ someone…whatever age they are.
But age is just a small part of this. Self-help is one of the biggest money-making machines out there. Americans alone spend 10s of billions of dollars every year on self-help materials, all desperately searching for the answer to life’s questions. Will they find them? HELL NO! They (gurus etc.) don’t want you to – the money-making machine would break down if you did! That is the plain truth. Every book, YouTube video, seminar and course is designed to give you just enough hope and encouraging material to keep you interested enough to buy or watch parts 2, 3, 4…ad infinitum. Moreover, you will never get your answers because no. one. knows. them.
Because that is life. It’s about tumbling through it with no prior experience, learning as you go and, for the most part, making it up as you go. Self-help books, and these guides and gurus, can actually be detrimental because they can make us feel like they have some amazing gift that we don’t, and that we’re inadequately prepared to make it through life without someone else’s help. Bull. Shit. We’re all just as clueless as each other, so don’t ever feel like you’re missing a puzzle piece that will solve the game called Life.
The best guide you can possibly have is your gut instinct, along with some help from your friends and family. Look to the people who know you, and get to know yourself too. Do that in whichever way works best for you, whether it’s pampering yourself, working out or meditating. Sure, read some self-help books and watch some of that hot life coach’s videos if you want, but don’t take it as gospel – they’re probably reading someone else’s self-help book too.